Sunday, September 19, 2010

Cute Family

Go on.. tell me I have the cutest kids ever... go on, just tell me. :) I LOVE my babies. I am grateful for every single one of them. I love how they are so different, but yet so similar. I am so, so lucky!!

Kenzlie's Baby Blessing

We will be blessing Kenzlie next Sunday March 28th @ 9:00 am. 
Everyone is welcome to come.
 The address is 3364 W. 11400 So. South Jordan, UT 84095.  
We will be staying for the three hour block. There will be light refreshments at our home at noon.  

We would love to see you! 

Kenzlie is one week old.

As of today, Kenzlie is one week! Can you believe it? I can't. Time has already gone by so fast... it makes me sad that my kids are growing up so fast and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. :) I can't believe Staley is already 6 years old! I just don't want to let time pass by. I want to be able to soak it all in- if only we could freeze time and enjoy every little thing that makes life so meaningful.

Well talk about vacation.... Stockton and Taysen have been gone now for 11 days. It has been really nice being able to spend so much time with Kenzlie, but I miss my boys SO much! Having so much time has made me -Miss OCD- a little stir crazy and has given me LOTS of time to think. It is good though. I can't complain. I have been spoiled rotten!

Austin gave Kenzlie her first bath, and she loved it! He is so cute with her! I know I said it before, but it is so neat seeing him with her.

Staley has been such a great helper! He too, is a bit stir crazy. We are usually a family always on the go. Running here, running there- getting the kids to all their activities, and to just be home all day long is quite an adjustment. It has been good having some really good quality time with Staley. He is a great little boy, and I am so proud that he is mine.

So- I know that just having a baby- okay well, being pregnant in general makes me a little emotional. Austin would probably disagree with the "little" part. :) But I am a lot more sensitive to things than normal. Some of you understand- you see a commercial on tv where you can tell this family REALLY loves each other, and you find yourself practically bawling- :) The funny thing is- that family on that commercial isn't even real. Explain that!? Again, not a bad thing. What does that have to do with anything you ask?? There has just been a lot on my mind.

I realized today while in the shower that I don't remember the last time I cried- in the shower. :) Cried is probably an understatement... more like bawled. And I was so proud of myself! When Kamberlie died, the shower was my "get away" my own time where no one was around and no one could see me or hear me.... it was my time to think and try to deal with things and I would bawl... and bawl... and bawl. For the first year and half this was a daily thing. I wouldn't intentionally go into the shower thinking that would happen- but, without fail it would. It was my little haven where I didn't have to be strong for anyone and I could just let go. As time has gone by my crying episodes have become fewer and fewer- not that they don't happen, but not every single day. Looking back over the past 2+ years I can really see how far I have come, how far my family has come and how much closer we have grown. I know there is still a huge healing process but everyday we get a little bit closer. Why do I write these things? Because I don't want to forget. Because I want to be able to look back and remember how I felt and remember the different emotions I went through. I want to understand just how much I have been blessed and how far I have come.

I want to write the great memories, the hard memories, and the not so great memories... so I don't ever forget. We are stronger than we think. Our Heavenly Father knew this all along. We just need to figure that out for ourselves. So, with that said- please bear with me, this blog is a way for me to look back and remember the good, the bad and the ugly. :)

I love you all! Thanks so much for all your support! ...There will be much more to come.

Kenzlie Binks has made her mark

Well she is finally here. The long wait is over. We are so excited to welcome our little Kenzlie to our family. She was born on January 19th 2010 at 12:06 pm. She weighed 6 pounds 15 ounces. She was 19'' long. Every thing was so perfect. We couldn't have asked for anything to go any smoother. Heavenly Father knows a little bit about tender mercies. Too amazing!!! If there is one person that deserves such a beautiful little girl it's that sexy person in the picture. No not that one. The one below. Look at her. Goodness just radiates from her. Just looking at her you can feel the spirit. She is truly one of God's greatest. If you can't see that then you don't know Kim. She's the best Mom & wife out there. Thanks for all you do babe. I love you way too much. You make me feel like a King.

Friday night we thought for sure that we would be going in to have this baby. The contractions started and we were on our way. Well Friday night passed and then came Saturday. This was going to be the day. The contractions were getting stronger. Still no luck. Sunday would have to be the day. So we went out to eat Saturday night to celebrate. This had to be the final meal before she came. Sunday morning came & I was miserable. I did not want her to come yet. I ate something that did not do me well. Many trips to the bathroom to say the least was our Sunday. If she came on Sunday things would not be fun. I was supposed to cater to Kim and she was the one taking care of me. Imagine that! A nine month pregnant wife taking care of me. See what I mean. That's Kim! We got through and made it until Monday. By then we just said we are waiting for tomorrow to welcome her. Anyway Tuesday morning came we got up as if we were getting ready to go on a trip. We showered, cleaned, ate, packed,(More like grabbed the bag since it was packed by Kim two weeks earlier), etc. It did not feel like we were going to have a baby. Needless to say, scheduling to have your baby is the way to go. We get to the hospital, fill out paperwork, no rush, no hurry, no pain, simple & easy. I mean, come on, did you see how Kim looks. Fabulous! Ladies don't do it any other way!

We are still trying to find out who she looks like. It's hard to tell for me who any of my kids look like so it doesn't help that they change so quickly. Dang cute. We are open to suggestions. I'm a little nervous how Taysen is going to act or react I should say. He is so spoiled and now he just won't get the attention that he is used to. So please if Kenzlie has bruises and is banged up please don't turn us into the state. Taysen might just kick the crap out of her. We'll keep an eye or two on her. Yes! Daddy did pick out the bow. Mommy had nothing to do with that. No! I'm not gay or metro. Kim is trying to teach me a little style. Oh and by the way her nick name will be Z (ZEE) or ZB (ZeeBee) or zeebeebeebee (KenZlie Binks BaBy) (Beebee) baby with a slight accent. Zibibibi. I'm sure at some point she will grow out of the bi bi part of her nick name. I am just so excited to have another little bibi girl. Before we had any kids I told Kim that I would be fine having all boys. I didn't need the high stress, high maintenance of girls. Oh how I was wrong. Kamberlie just melted my heart. I couldn't imagine life with out her. Now I can't imagine life after with out her. And now I have the privilege of raising another one of God's great daughters. It's humbling and so gratifying all at the same time. I love both of them so much. Kim was falsely accusing me of hogging Kenzlie already. I was sharing! There is always two sides to every story. Mine is the one that is usually correct but who's counting?  Words can not describe how I feel. Again, I just need to let everyone know that God is in the drivers seat. HE KNOWS, HE KNOWS, HE KNOWS! That's all there is to it. I wish everyone could see that. Life would make much more sense to so many people. That question of WHY is so uncalled for. To think that we even have the nerve to question God is beyond me and yet we hear and see people doing it everyday. Why did this happen or why does it have to be this way. Maybe instead of a question the statement could be, " I am anxious to see how God shaped and developed me through this experience" or "I can't wait to understand why but am so glad that God knows me and loves me enough to let me struggle through it." Poor picked on me is too often the attitude of people these days. Study the life of Job a little bit and that should put your life into perspective. Study the life of Emma Smith and you might just say, Okay God I'm good with my trials. Because through it all, when we are ready, God turns the trials of life into great miralces of happiness. I am a witness of that. Today is a great day. I feel so blessed. I am so blessed. I love my Heavenly Father so much.